I'll Try
by ardj18
Summary: All the Pevensies have returned to Narnia, except for Susan, who doesn't believe in Narnia anymore. Caspian comes to Earth to find her. Based on the song I'll Try from Peter Pan 2. Suspian.
1. Memories

A/N: Okay, so this isn't the best stuff I've ever written, but I think it's pretty good, so please R&R. I'm sorry too all who love long chapters, but I am not very good at writing fluff, so it's kind of short. This is my first fanfic so please be nice! Constructive criticism is welcome.

Disclaimer: Much as I would love to own The Chronicles of Narnia, and this awesome song, I don't.

**I'll Try**

_**I am not a child now**_

_**I can take care of myself**_

_**I mustn't let them down now**_

_**Mustn't let them see me cry**_

_**I'm fine, I'm fine**_

Susan stood at her window, her eyes gazing off into space. She was still bitter about the argument a few days before with Peter. He seemed to think she was still just a little kid that needed protecting. _Well, _she thought, _I'm not! Why can't he see that? Why can't all of them just leave me alone!  
_

The argument had been about Narnia, that silly game they had all played a few years before, where they were kings and queens, ruling over a wondrous land. All Susan's siblings had been shocked a few months ago when they had mentioned Narnia, and she had scoffed at them for being childish. It still pained Susan to remember how Lucy had burst out in tears, and Edmund's eyes had filled with shock and betrayal, mirroring Peter's.

It made no sense why they should feel that way, why they should believe the stories they had made up as children. Of course it was all made up; they had been stuck in the middle of a war, sent away from home, and in need of some fantasy to cling to. It was perfectly logical to Susan, but her other siblings hadn't known what to think when she voiced these thoughts.

Tearing her eyes away from the window, Susan turned and walked towards her bed, wiping the moisture from her eyes as she went. _It's such a silly thing to argue about. I wish we could all just be a happy family again, without them trying to convince me of fairy-tales. _She let a tear escape. _I want my siblings back. I want to be the way we were. I want them to understand._

Susan pulled the covers of the bed back, slipping between the sheets. As she shifted to find a more comfortable position, she glanced at the picture of her family that she had placed beside her bed. They beamed back at her, welcoming and joyous expressions on their faces. She hadn't seen her siblings happy in several months, since the arguments began. An old hurt stirred inside her, rising up and leaking out of her eyes in the form of teardrops. Suddenly, she felt a need to see them smile again. She would do anything for them.

She decided that she would call them tomorrow and apologize. She still couldn't believe in Narnia, but she would stop arguing about it. She'd make plans to meet up with all of them and they could be happy again, the way a family was supposed to be.

The last thing she saw before drifting to sleep was the smiling faces of her siblings, rushing up to hug her.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Caspian stood in front of the old tree that served as a reminder of all he had lost a few years before. It was the third anniversary of the departure of the Kings and Queens of old. They had appeared in his time of need and helped to overthrow Miraz, bringing peace to Narnia once more. He knew he would never be able to repay them, and he also knew he would try as hard as he could if he ever saw them again.

He missed them terribly, more than he would admit to anyone, including himself. He would even be glad to see Peter again, though they had never truly gotten along. Both were natural born leaders, and always competing in some unknown game, for an unknown prize.

Caspian would be very happy to see Edmund again as well. He was a very attentive person, and therefore noticed things others wouldn't. Edmund had always been a clear ally in Caspian's mind, and a good friend, despite Caspian's quarrels with the previous High King.

Lucy was the type of person who anyone would want to see again. She was the closest thing Caspian had ever had to a sister, though he had only known her for a short time. She was a very happy person, and Caspian was glad that Aslan had promised that at least Edmund and Lucy would one day return to Narnia, though the same could not be said for Peter and Susan.

Susan. She was the one Caspian missed the most. The memory of her kiss had haunted him for the past three years. He knew he would never feel the same way about any other girl, no matter how long he lived. She had taken a piece of his heart back to Earth with her, and he hoped she knew it.

The Kings and Queens of old were the only friends Caspian had ever had, aside from his professor. And they were gone. But standing here, by the place they disappeared from Narnia, he felt closer to them, more connected to the world where they lived.

Heaving a sigh, Caspian turned away from the tree and headed back to the castle. As he walked, he heard a soft sound, like footsteps crunching in a light wind. He pivoted, and froze in shock. The Pevensies were stepping out of the gap in the tree, the same place where they had left this world. One by one, Peter, Edmund, and Lucy returned to Narnia once again.


	2. Disappointed Hopes

A/N: thanks to all who read the last chapter. I'm sorry that they're rather short, but it'll have to do. Please R&R! I need comments so I know how to improve this for my next chapter.

--------------------------------------------------------

_**I'm too tired to listen**_

_**I'm too old to believe**_

_**All these childish stories**_

_**There is no such thing as faith**_

_**And trust, and pixie dust**_

"Come on, pick up. Please." Susan begged her brother as the phone rang and rang. No one answered. She tried again, but to no avail. "Strange," she muttered to herself. "Peter always answers the phone.

Deciding he must not be home, she tried calling her old home, where Edmund and Lucy still lived. The phone rang for over a minute before the line went dead. A little anxious, Susan tried again. Surely her siblings couldn't stay mad at her forever. Could they?

After calling both homes for another few minutes, she gave up, and replaced the phone on its hook. She checked the clock on the wall. It was five o'clock. Mum wouldn't be home yet, but surely her two younger siblings would be back from school. And Peter had Saturdays off, just as she did. Why wasn't anyone answering?

_Nothing's wrong, _she assured herself. _They're just out right now. They'll answer later._

Continuing to reassure herself, Susan walked around her tiny apartment, straightening up her things and trying not to look at the clock. She passed the better part of an hour in this manner, eventually settling down enough to read a book.

By six o'clock, she was impatient, though she didn't know why she felt so anxious. Setting down her book on the table, Susan walked over to the phone, and, picking it up, dialed Peter's number once again. Nothing.

She received the same response from her mother's house. Surely Edmund and Lucy would be back from wherever they had been by now. Why wouldn't they answer the phone?

Seized by the sudden need to see her siblings, Susan grabbed her coat and left her apartment, not fully knowing what she intended to do. What if they weren't home? What if they refused to see her? No, they wouldn't do that.

Susan walked down the street and entered the underground, where she purchased a ticket for the next train going close to the neighborhood Peter and her other siblings lived in.

A few minutes later, the train arrived and Susan claimed her seat in the almost empty compartment. Closing her eyes, she leaned her head back and lost herself in her thoughts.

_I'm sorry. I know it's important to you, but I just can't believe what you do. I wish I could, but it's all just a fairy-tale. It's make-believe, can't you see that? Narnia doesn't exist. There is no such thing as fauns, mermaids, or even Aslan, s_he thought, directing her thoughts to her siblings, wherever they may be.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Caspian!" Lucy cried, running forward to embrace the king warmly. "Oh, I've missed you!"

"What?" Caspian replied weakly. "How…"

Peter and Edmund looked around in amazement, not daring to believe their eyes. "Narnia?" questioned Peter softly.

"No Pete, we're just stuck in a wardrobe again. A very big wardrobe," replied Edmund, drawing a disbelieving laugh from his older brother. But it was obvious in the Just King's eyes that he was having trouble believing it as well.

"Aren't you so glad to be back!" exclaimed Lucy. "I know I am. Oh, don't look so shocked, Edmund, Aslan said you would come back. But…Peter. How did you come back with us? I thought you weren't coming back again?" She was interrupted by the sound of someone trying to speak, but with no success.  
The three of them turned to Caspian, who was still having trouble with incoherency. Finally, he found the words he needed. "I'm so glad to see you all again! But…" he paused, looking confused and disappointed. "Where is Susan?"

The Pevensies looked at each other, their happy mood suddenly deflated. Caspian noticed the change and was immediately concerned. "What's wrong? Is she…" he trailed off, unable to give voice to his sudden thought. _She couldn't be dead._

"No," answered Edmund quietly, knowing what he couldn't say. "She is-"

"Susan is no longer a friend of Narnia." Peter interrupted flatly.

"Peter!" exclaimed Lucy, but she was cut off by Caspian, who felt as if he had just received a slap in the face.

"What? What do you mean? How could she no longer be a friend of Narnia? She is Queen Susan the Gentle!"

"Caspian," Lucy said, coming over and grasping his hand. He looked down at her face, which was crossed with sadness, and a hint of hurt. "She doesn't believe in Narnia anymore. She thinks it's just a game we played. Susan thinks Narnia doesn't exist."

Caspian stepped backwards, his mind reeling. _How could she not believe in Narnia? Doesn't she remember her time ruling it, her time fighting to defend it? Has she forgotten all of that? Has she forgotten me?_

He looked into the forlorn faces of the three people standing before him, and he knew the answer. _Yes._


	3. Trying to Believe

A/N: yay! another chapter. Thanks again to all who are reading this, and please comment! I'll try to get the next chapter up soon, but no promises. I'm not very satisfied with the ending on this chapter, so I might fix that, but probably not anytime soon. anyway, hope you guys enjoy!

_**I try**_

_**But it's so hard to believe**_

_**I try **_

_**But I can't see what you see**_

_**I try, I try, I try**_

Susan walked over to the apartment door, still worrying. Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she raised a hand and knocked on the door. Nothing. "Peter," she called. No one answered.

She knocked harder and louder. "Peter, open up! You can't stay mad at me forever," she begged through the door. _Can you?_

Well, Peter was obviously still out. Susan knew that there was probably a logical explanation, but she couldn't help but feel that something was wrong. Surely he was just out with friends or some other such thing. But, why couldn't she get rid of the horrible feeling in her stomach. _Come on Susan, _she told herself._ Everything's fine. Get a hold of yourself._

Giving up, she turned and left the apartment building, heading towards the neighborhood a few blocks away where the rest of her family lived. At least one of her siblings should be home by now.

Arriving at the house, she rang the doorbell. No answer. What was going on? She tried again, and again, and finally started knocking. Nothing.

Suddenly remembering something, she dug through her handbag, finally coming up with a small key. Using the key, which she still had from her days of living at this house, Susan unlocked the door and stepped inside. "Anybody home?" she called out to the empty house.

Susan had a really bad feeling about all of this. She knew she should leave and wait at her home to call again tomorrow, but for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to leave. Wandering towards the back of the house, she took in the familiar setting. Very little had been changed about the house. It was still the same as it had been just a year previously when Susan had moved out.

But in that year, she had managed to become distant from her siblings, through the irrational fights about Narnia. Her siblings had always been so close to her; she felt their absence like a hole in her heart.

Looking up from her thoughts, Susan found herself standing in Lucy's room. She felt loneliness settle over her. She wished to be a child again, when she would stay in Lucy's room all night, giggling and talking with her younger sister until they both fell asleep in the early morning.

Smiling softly at the memories, Susan wandered over to Lucy's desk, where she found several sketch books lying around. Without realizing what she was doing, she reached out and picked up the closest book. Looking down at the cover, she froze. Lucy had labeled the cover in her faciest script, with just one word: _Narnia._

With the book still in her hands, Susan sat down on the edge of Lucy's bed, still frozen. Eventually, she managed to turn to the first page, where she saw a magnificent castle overlooking the most beautiful ocean Susan had ever seen. In the corner, Lucy had written a title for the castle, Cair Paravel. Something stirred in Susan's mind. She sat there, staring at the picture, trying to remember, trying to believe that it was real. She recognized it from the name as the castle they had made up for them to live in while they pretended to rule Narnia. But though it was just a game, and she therefore really should have only recognized the name, something about the picture looked oddly familiar. _Perhaps Lucy and I both imagined it the same way._

Shaking her head, Susan turned to the next picture, then the next. Flipping through the book, Susan suddenly wished that Narnia was real. Lucy's imagination had transformed the fairy tale into such a beautiful place. Near the end of the book, a particular picture caught Susan's attention. It was a picture of a huge crowd of people, standing in front of a village and a castle, different from Cair Paravel. In front of the crowd stood a great lion, Aslan. Next to him were five people. Four of them were the Pevensies, but the fourth was a tall, handsome King. Caspian. Susan remembered this scene as one of the ones in the later stories they had come up with, one that took place after a great battle. This had been the last part of their games, the last story they had made up to take their minds off the war.

But the thing that had caught Susan's attention was the figure of Caspian, exactly how she herself had imagined him. Without telling her siblings, Susan had made up fantasies about herself and Caspian falling in love during their last few times playing the game. She knew her siblings would laugh at her for making up such stories. But in her mind, at this final scene, she had always imagined kissing Caspian right before walking through the portal back to Earth, thus ending the story.

Susan stared at the picture, as tears leaked out her eyes. She tried to make herself believe. She tried so hard, her head hurt. She wanted to believe, she truly did. But no matter how much she begged, her mind refused to accept the impossible fantasies of Narnia. It wasn't true, and she couldn't change that. But she tried anyway, wondering how her siblings could believe it, what they could see that she couldn't.

Susan tried, but couldn't believe.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Caspian paced around the room, trying to make his mind pay attention to the story Lucy was telling of how the three had come to be in Narnia once again. He could hear what she was saying, and a part of his mind was noting the important parts of what she was saying, but most of his attention was on the painful shock he had just received. How could Susan not believe in Narnia? Not remember all the things she had experienced here? It didn't make sense to him. She had ruled Narnia, fought for it. But though she had left it twice, only now had she truly abandoned it.

He was brought out of his reverie by Edmund's voice. "Caspian, are you all right?"

Caspian nodded, stopping his pacing and turning toward the young King. "Yes, just surprised." And shocked, and betrayed, and hurt, and heartbroken. But he didn't mention any of that.

Edmund, as always, seemed to know what he hadn't said. "We all are," he said gently. "But she made her decision. Perhaps one day she will finally remember, and come as well."

But all of them knew how unlikely that was. Susan could be quite stubborn, and always tried to go with the logical answer. And there was nothing logical about Narnia. It was something you just had to know, had to believe.

"We tried to convince her," came Peter's quiet voice. "She wouldn't listen. It led to months of fighting. We came back here in the middle of one." He looked terribly sad and a little angry as well.

"Why wouldn't she believe you? Why can't she remember?" asked Caspian.

This time it was Lucy who answered. "I think she tried to convince herself it wasn't real, because she couldn't come back. It must have been less painful than to remember the loss. I guess she eventually succeeded. Now she regards Narnia as just a silly fairy-tale."

"Is there no hope?" Caspian had to know. If it was truly hopeless… No, there had to be some way.

"I don't know," said Edmund. "She wouldn't listen to us."

An idea suddenly occurred to Caspian. "She wouldn't listen to _you_," he said, as the idea solidified to a plan in his mind.

Edmund was the first to understand. "You think it will work?" he asked, suddenly excited.

"I think it's worth a try."

"What?" exclaimed Peter, who hated being left out.

Understanding blossomed in Lucy's eyes. "You mean, that maybe she will believe you?"

"Yes," Caspian nodded. "I do."

"You would go to Earth to find her?" questioned Peter.

"I would do anything for her." In that moment, all the Pevensies could see the truth in his eyes. They knew then that Caspian loved Susan with all of his heart, and truly would do anything to get her back.

"I'll go with you," said Peter, standing up.

"No," said a voice they all recognized. "This is something Caspian must do alone."

"Aslan!" cried Lucy.

"Yes, dearest one, it is I. You have all done everything in your power to help your sister. Now it is Caspian's turn." The voice faded away, and they all knew Aslan was gone.

The Pevensies turned back to Caspian. "Please," said Lucy in a soft voice. "Please bring Susan back to Narnia."


	4. Pictures of the Past

A/N: I'm sorry I didn't get around to writing this sooner, but here it is now! This part doesn't really fit with the part of the song it's supposed to, but it's more of a general idea. by the way, if you haven't listened to the song, I highly suggest you do. it is "I'll Try", from Peter Pan 2: Return to Neverland. I prefer the one from the movie, not the one by Jesse McCartney, just so you know. constructive criticism is welcome. reviews make me very happy, and my happiness makes for a better story *hint hint*

_**My whole world is changing **_

_**I don't know where to turn**_

_**I can't leave you waiting**_

_**But I can't stay and watch this city burn**_

_**Watch it burn**_

Susan turned back toward the door and locked it, then stuffed the key back in her bag. Seeing that it was almost evening, she hurried down the steps and towards the train station once again. For some reason, she found that she didn't want to go back to her apartment. There was something about it, some feeling that she just couldn't place. It was as if… no, she wasn't scared of her house, just, well it was too lonely.

She walked slowly down the street, lost in thought. On either side of her rose huge, magnificent buildings. As a child, she had loved to look at them, but now she passed by them without a second thought. Feeling lost, Susan turned down the familiar street, though she didn't recognize it. _What's wrong with me?_ She thought angrily. _It's as if I'm a different person._

But she knew in her heart that she was a different person; something had changed, though she knew not what. Something had changed the minute she started arguing with her siblings. But she had changed again once she saw the sketch book on Lucy's desk. She just wasn't yet sure exactly how that experience had changed her.

The rhythmic sound of her footsteps suddenly stopped, and it took a minute for her mind to catch up and realize why she had come to a halt. She saw that she stood in front of the train station. Susan looked slightly to the left and froze as she saw the huge lion statue looming over the sidewalk.

Without realizing what she was doing, Susan turned and walked slowly over to the statue. As she stood there staring at it, one word came into her mind. "Aslan," she breathed, reaching up one shaking hand to touch the cold paw.

Shaking her head as if to clear it, Susan hurriedly stepped backwards, almost knocking an old woman over in her haste. Muttering an apology, she practically ran back to the train station, plunging inside.

Once on the train, Susan plopped tiredly into a seat, rubbing her temple as if she had a headache. Her purse bumped against her leg, an odd, hard shape inside. Reaching down, Susan withdrew Lucy's sketch book. She didn't know exactly why she'd taken it, and knew that Lucy would be vexed when she discovered that it was missing. Susan had just felt that she should take it, and had placed it in her bag, driven by impulse.

She flipped it open to a random page as the train gave a great lurch and pulled away from the platform. She found herself looking at a younger version of herself, on a horse with Lucy behind her, and the drawing was so detailed that it was clear the horse was galloping ferociously, its muscles tight. "That's a right pretty picture," said a voice next to her. Susan turned and saw a man just a few years older than her, perhaps twenty-two or so, staring at the picture, almost in disbelief. "Interesting clothes and all, but real talent. You should consider getting a job as an illustrator."

"Thank you," said Susan, smiling politely, though a bit tiredly. "But it's not my work, my sister drew it. It's… it's an illustration from a story we made up, a long time ago," she finished a little sadly.

"Well, tell your sister she's an amazing artist," said the young man, smiling at her.

"Sure." Susan turned her head back to the notebook and flipped to the next page, knowing the man was still looking. She didn't even care anymore. Seeing that it was another picture of herself, this time expertly shooting a bow at a mounted soldier while four more approached, she sighed, quickly turning the page.

These were all pictures she had missed when she looked through the notebook before, and she studied each carefully. Each was a different scene from the stories they had acted out as children, depicting various stages of battle and other such events. They produced a strange feeling in her, almost a sense of loss.

Coming once again to the picture of the five royals along with Aslan, Susan sighed and flipped back to the beginning of the sketchbook. What she didn't see was the picture after that, of Susan and Caspian sharing the kiss she had imagined.

The train came to a shuddering stop, and Susan closed the book, preparing to leave the compartment. "Miss," came a quiet voice from where she'd been sitting. Turning, she found the same man who had commented on the pictures earlier. "That's an amazing story."

"Yes," she sighed. "It was."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"When will you leave?"

"As soon as I can. I do not wish to waste another minute." Caspian paused and looked down at his hands. "I must see her."

Peter wasn't sure he was really comfortable with Caspian feeling this strongly about Susan, she was, after all, his little sister. But, if he managed to convince her of Narnia, Peter would be eternally grateful.

"Well, first you should probably know where to find her," piped up Lucy. "Do you have a piece of paper? And a pen?" Caspian produced the tools, and Lucy scribbled down an address on the paper. "That's where she lives. But, well, London is a big place. _Really_ big. Um, Peter, you don't happen to have a map, do you?"

"I do," said Edmund, offering one. "We were on our way to see Susan when we came back," Edmund explained, realizing that Caspian probably hadn't been listening earlier. "I always get lost trying to find her house."

Lucy circled something on the map with her pen. "This is around where Susan's apartment building is." She circled something else. "And this is the train station we were at when we came back here. It's probably where you'll end up, because that's where we were when we went back to Earth last time, too."

"Thank you," said Caspian, gathering up the map and paper with Susan's address. "I will do all I can to bring her back here."

With that, he turned and headed toward the door.

"Wait!" called Peter, suddenly realizing something.

"What?"

"Your sword."

"What about my sword?" asked Caspian, clearly confused.

"Well, no one in England goes around carrying a sword," explained Peter, half amused. "Well, no one goes around dressed like that either, hut it'll have to do. But you'll really stick out with that."

Caspian unbuckled his sword from his belt and handed it to Peter. With one last farewell glance at the siblings, he walked purposefully through the door and into the busy English train station.


	5. Finding a Queen

A/N: okay, I'm not entirely sure yet whether or not I like this chapter. It was hard to write about Caspian's thoughts on Earth, and I know i didn't really do the best job at it. Anyway, there will be about three more chapters, so please keep reading and reviewing, and I will get the rest of the story up as soon as I can!

'_**Cause I try**_

_**But it's so hard to believe**_

_**I try **_

_**But I can't see what you see**_

_**I try, I try**_

Susan stepped off of the train, and made her way through the crowd of people at the station. It was a busy time of day, with many people getting home from work, and getting through the knots of pushing and shoving was not a particularly enjoyable task. But it did take her mind of the internal struggle she was facing.

Worming her way through the crowd, Susan kept one hand on her purse at all times, making sure no one took it. Finally, she could see the exit. Just as she was about to rush up the stairs, she thought she heard someone calling her name. She slowed, and looked around, but didn't see anyone she knew. Thinking the shout had been meant for someone else, Susan turned and hurried up the stairs into the suffocating smog of London.

Once free of the people in the station, Susan was thrust into the crowds of the streets. It was so frustrating; the time when she most needed to be alone, she was surrounded by a never-ending stream of people. _Well, that's what you get when you live in a big city, _Susan thought to herself.

She once again heard the sound of someone shouting her name. _What? Surely it isn't me they want. _Glancing around, Susan still didn't see anyone that looked like they had been calling her. In fact, no one looked like they had been shouting at all. _Am I hearing things?_

That disturbed Susan, she was nothing if not logical, and she found it hard to believe she would be imagining things. With these thoughts in her head, she continued on her way down the street, ignoring the bustle of people as they shoved their way past her.

Susan didn't relax until she reached her apartment building. She let out a breath she wasn't aware she had been holding. She walked into the building and made her way up to her apartment, opening the door and going inside.

As she sat down on the couch in the small living room/ foyer, Susan dumped her bag on the floor and pulled out Lucy's sketch book. She didn't open it; she just sat there staring at it, thinking quickly.

Okay, what was going on? There were only some things Susan knew for certain. One, her siblings were mad at her. Two, they were mad at her because she didn't believe in a fairy-tale. None of her siblings were home, and they hadn't been all day. Add in the sketchbook, the weird feeling it gave Susan, and the guy on the train, and you had one big mess. Susan couldn't think of anything else to sum it up; something was wrong.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Caspian didn't know what to think. This was definitely not Narnia. He was standing in a dark tunnel, illuminated by lights in the ceiling, and he was surrounded by hundreds of people. In front of him, a long, huge monster came to a screeching halt. He didn't know whether to attack it or run away, until he noticed wheels on it. _It must be some type of transportation, _he realized. Thinking back to what Lucy had said, he realized that he must be at the train station she had mentioned. If this was a station, then that must be a train, he thought to himself.

Just as this occurred to him, the thing let out another loud noise, and doors opened along its length and Caspian could see people filling up the different compartments. As soon as the doors were opened, the people poured off the train and onto the station, as others who had been standing around filed onto the train.

From somewhere in front of him, Caspian heard an unmistakable voice. "Yes. It was," said the voice. Out of the corner of his eye, Caspian saw a flash of her face before she turned and hurried into the crowd of people pushing toward the door. The Gentle Queen disappeared from his sight, and Caspian felt fear in his heart. How would he ever be able to find her in this crowd?

Pushing his way through the people, Caspian caught a glimpse of Susan once more. "Susan!" he cried out before he realized what he was doing. He saw her stop and look around, but he was in the middle of the crowd, and she couldn't see him.

Making his way hastily toward the exit, Caspian didn't notice the odd looks people were giving him as he passed. All he could think about was finding Susan. Plunging through the exit, he emerged onto the streets of London. Immediately he began coughing, not having experienced its smog before.

"Susan!" he choked out, and saw her pause once more, far ahead of him. Caspian was practically sprinting now, trying to catch up to Susan. But she was used to dealing with all these people, and he was not. He found himself pushed around, and struggled to keep moving forward.

The looks people gave him were getting more incredulous. It was a strange sight, even in London, to see a young man dressed as if he had just emerged from the Renaissance stumbling around the streets, choking on the thick air.

Eventually, Caspian lost sight of Susan, and ducked into a side street. Looking out from the entrance of this street, Caspian realized just how strange this world was. There were no horses to be seen, instead, monsters that looked like miniature trains in a way zipped down the street, faster than Caspian would have thought possible. Even the buildings were strange, reaching up so high they looked like they could touch the clouds. _How did the Kings and Queens ever survive in such a place? _He thought wonderingly.

That was when Caspian remembered why he was here. He needed to find Susan, and quickly. He wasn't sure how much longer he could stand this air; it was still making him cough terribly. Caspian pulled the map out of his pocket, extremely thankful that he had it. He located the circle that was the train station he had just left, and then found the one that marked where Susan lived.

Still holding the map, Caspian emerged from the alley back into the hustle of the main street. Hoping desperately that he was reading the map right, Caspian continued to wander down the streets of London. Eventually he found himself where the circle indicated, but was at a loss as to which of the buildings around him were the one where he would find the missing Queen. None of them looked like somewhere anyone would live, at least not to him. He caught a glimpse of a curtain of dark hair whipping around a corner into the building on his right. _Could it be Susan?_ He thought, staring at the building.

Deciding it was his best bet, Caspian walked over to the tall building and pushed open the door. He started to climb the stairs he found, looking at the address Lucy had written on the scrap of paper. _412. _What did that number mean? Stepping onto the first floor, Caspian looked at the doors. All the numbers started with one. _Oh,_ he thought, stepping back out onto the stairs. He continued up to the fourth floor.

After another minute, Caspian had managed to locate the door reading 412. _Well, this must be it._ Taking a deep breath, Caspian reached up his hand and knocked on the door.


	6. Facing the Past

A/N: alright, so I'm really sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, but ive been having computer troubles, and a bit of writers block. well, i hope you enjoy! and no, this is not the end of the story, theres still two more chapters to go! please review!

_**I try and try to understand **_

_**The distance in-between**_

_**The love I feel and the things I fear **_

_**And every single dream**_

Susan was so wrapped up in her thought, she didn't realize at first that someone was knocking on her door. She sighed and untangled her legs from under her. Standing up, Susan slowly made her way over to the front door. She could hear rough breathing from the other side. That confused her, though at the same time it stirred something vague in her memory. Susan shook her head slightly to clear her thoughts and opened the door.

As the door moved to reveal the figure standing there, Susan froze. On the doorstep stood a tall man, with dark brown hair and chocolate eyes. He was quite young, only a year or so older than Peter. He had lean, wiry muscles, revealed by the sleeves he had pushed up to his shoulders. That brought Susan's eyes to his clothes. They were so strange; he was wearing a tunic and doublet, with long legging-like pants tucked into his boots. These clothes were definitely not from current England, but they still looked familiar to Susan, as if she'd seen them before, somewhere. No, surely not in…

And with that, Susan's thoughts turned inward, where she was overcome by memories. Caspian noticed the suddenly glassy look in her eyes, and concern overpowered his joy and shock at seeing her. As Susan swayed unsteadily on her feet, he lurched forward, ready to catch her if she fell.

The door swung closed behind them as Caspian moved out of the doorway, creating a loud bang. He automatically swiveled his head to the door, therefore not catching Susan as she fell to her knees, still battling with herself. Caspian knelt next to her, taking her tentatively in his arms. He felt the shock of her touch, warmth spreading through his arms. He was still overjoyed that he had found Susan, but he had noticed right away that something was different. Even while she had been staring at him, something in her eyes had told him that she didn't recognize him, and he could see the truth in the Pevensies' words. She no longer believed.

As Caspian entertained these thoughts, Susan was in a fierce fight with her own mind. Narnia wasn't real, it couldn't be. But here in front of her was proof. Here was obvious proof that Narnia existed. But, no, it just couldn't be! It was impossible, nothing but a silly game! Pure and utter nonsense!

But even as Susan thought this, she was thrust into a barrage of memories. They flooded her mind, as if a dam had broken, letting out a stream of moments she remembered as scenes from the stories of Narnia. But these weren't just playing a game; these were memories of her actually in a magical land, surrounded by True Narnians.

There was Lucy hitting Peter in the face with a snowball, as they stood next to a lamppost. The Pevensies sitting at a table listening to two Beavers talking. Bowing to Aslan as they stood in the middle of a camp, an army all around them. Lucy and Susan embracing Edmund. The White Witch pointing at Edmund, demanding his blood. Aslan lying on a stone table, his lifeless eyes staring into space. A fierce battle raging on the field below them, as Aslan pounced at the White Witch. Standing in the throne room of Cair Paravel, Aslan's voice ringing out, "Once a King or Queen of Narnia, always a King or Queen of Narnia." Riding through the woods, and stumbling through an old wardrobe back into England. Waiting for the train on a station, then suddenly on a beach outside Cair Paravel.

_Wait,_ thought Susan fiercely. _How do I know this is true? How do I know this is actually him? This could be just another fantasy, a figment of my imagination. _But just as she thought this, Susan felt strong arms wrap themselves around her, and a spark ran along every section of skin brushing against his. Warmth followed the spark, as if she was burning, though in a pleasant way. This was definitely not her imagination. "Caspian…" she murmured, and felt him stiffen slightly in surprise.

Susan was launched back into the memories. Peter standing with a rock in his hand, Caspian holding Peter's sword, Lucy yelling at them as Susan and Edmund ran toward them. Standing in front of a carving of Aslan, fire burning underneath, Lucy resting her hand on the cracked stone table. Flying on a griffin over the Telmarine castle, preparing for their attack. Peter and Caspian staring at the carving of Aslan, having almost brought the White Witch back to life. Helping soldiers practice their archery skills. Sending Lucy off into the forest, preparing to fight the horsed Telmarines rushing towards her. Running into battle, shooting at soldiers, slashing them with her bow as she ran past. Parading through the streets of the Telmarine village victoriously. Kissing Caspian in front of all of Narnia. Walking proudly through the portal back into England, knowing she could never go back.

A sob escaped Susan, and she realized there were tears streaming down her face. Her mind produced one more small doubt, but then gave in, her belief triumphing over her reason. Pulling out of Caspian's arms, she looked into his face, so full of hope and love. "I… I'm so sorry!" she wailed, throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder.

Caspian embraced her tightly, holding her close. Hope swelled in his heart. She had obviously changed her mind, and he knew in his heart that she did truly believe. He pulled back slightly, reluctantly, to look Susan in the eyes. He saw pain in her eyes, and he wished he could make it go away. "You have done nothing wrong."

Susan laughed humorlessly. "Nothing wrong? Nothing wrong? I have abandoned Narnia, turned my back on Aslan. I have hurt people, including myself. I estranged myself from my siblings – my siblings! The three people who always understood me and helped me through all the tough times I've been through. I argued with them for months, I yelled at them, calling them stupid and childish. They won't talk to me – I don't even know where they are!" A hint of hysteria crept into her voice, and her tears continued to fall.

"Shh… It's okay," Caspian whispered, holding her tight again. "They are in Narnia."

"They are?" Susan looked at Caspian again.

"Yes, that's how I knew you didn't believe anymore. They told me, but I thought you might believe me. I had to try. That's why I'm here."

Susan stared at him, wishing she could believe the small thought now entering her mind. She had to confirm it. "But, why? Why would you come for me?"  
Caspian looked steadily into her eyes, knowing the truth of his words, but needing her to believe him as well. "I love you."

Susan felt as if her heart would burst from joy. "I," she hesitated, but knew she had to continue, it was the truth. "I love you too."

He swept her up in his arms, bringing his mouth to hers, tasting the sweet flavor of her lips. Susan moaned, wrapping her arms around Caspian's neck, losing herself in the kiss. She tangled one hand in his hair, breathing in his scent, which was beyond words. This was nothing like their first kiss, years ago, when they had shared a small kiss before all of Narnia. Both of them poured their love and passion into this kiss, showing rather than telling each other of their continued affection.

As the kiss deepened, Susan was no longer afraid of Narnia and all it included; she lost all her fear in the strength of her rekindled belief.


	7. Return of the Queen

**A/N: **okay, I'm sorry it took so long for me to get this up. I was originally going to write another chapter, but I think this is a really nice ending, and I can't really think exactly how else to end it, so this is the last chapter. Lots of thanks to all my reviewers, I love you guys!

Please read and review! enjoy!

_**I can finally see it**_

_**Now I have to believe**_

_**All those precious stories**_

_**All the world is made of faith **_

_**And trust and pixie dust**_

After what seemed like a lifetime, Susan and Caspian broke apart. Smiling, Susan leaned against Caspian, placing her head on his shoulder. Her mind whirred; all her thoughts scattered. No matter how much she tried to concentrate on Narnia, her thoughts drifted back to Caspian. She felt giddy and strangely exhausted; the mental struggle had worn her down.

"Susan," murmured Caspian into her hair.

"Mmmm."

Caspian pulled away slightly to look Susan in the eyes. "Will you come back to Narnia with me?" he questioned. He needed to know, to hear her answer. He knew he couldn't leave her or let her walk away again.

Susan hesitated for a second. She still wasn't entirely sure about Narnia; she has just accepted that it was real. But she looked at Caspian and all doubt disappeared. "Of course," she said, hugging him tightly.

Caspian hugged her back, feeling joyous. "Now the only question is: How do we get back?"

Susan laughed, the first time in a long while. "I'm sure Aslan won't make us stay here for too long." She felt a strange twinge when she said Aslan's name.

"Of course I won't dear one," echoed a voice that was familiar to Susan, though distant.

"Aslan!" cried Susan, pulling away from Caspian to look around her. "Aslan, I…"

"Later, dear one," said Aslan's voice. As the voice faded away, a light appeared in the middle of the room. It pulsated, and then slowly expanded. As it grew, it stretched, creating a large circle, through which Susan could see huge mountains rolling gently down to a beautiful sea. In the distance she could see the towers of a castle.

"Narnia," breathed Susan, staring mesmerized at the scene before her.

Caspian reached out and took her hand. "Shall we?" Susan nodded and together they stepped through the portal and into Narnia.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter paced around the throne room, staring moodily into space. "You're going to wear a hole in the floor," said Edmund from his seat in the corner next to Lucy. Peter shot a burning glare at his brother before resuming his pacing.

"They're going to be fine. I'm sure Caspian will be back any minute with Susan," said Lucy in an attempt to calm Peter. Despite her words, she couldn't help but feel anxious herself. What if Caspian couldn't find Susan? What if he did find her and she still wouldn't believe in Narnia?

"Will both of you just stop worrying?" asked Edmund, though he was nervous himself.

Suddenly there was a shout from outside. Peter stopped pacing and looked up. "What was that?"

"I don't know," said Lucy. "But it sounded like it was coming from the courtyard."

Edmund turned to them. "You don't think…"

The three siblings looked at each other for a few seconds, and then ran outside.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Susan and Caspian stepped into Narnia, they heard someone scream at the sight of two people appearing out of thin air. Susan immediately recognized the courtyard of the Telmarine castle, where she had left Narnia three years before. She thought it was fitting that it should be the place she returned. Turning her head slightly, she found the tree where Aslan had opened the connection between the two worlds. Noticing Susan stiffening slightly, Caspian put his arm around her waist and turned to see what she was looking at.

Just as he was about to say something comforting to her, they heard the sound of running footsteps and turned to the entrance of the castle. Racing toward them were the other three Pevensies. "Susan!" screamed Lucy, speeding up. Susan broke away from Caspian and held her arms out to her sister.

"Lucy," sobbed Susan, her tears pouring into her sister's hair. "I'm so sorry… Thank you."

Lucy looked up, her own eyes filled with tears. "For what?" she asked, confused.

"For helping make me believe," Susan explained. When Lucy still looked confused, she reached into her pocket and held out something for her sister to take.

Lucy accepted the item and stared at it wonderingly. "My…" She trailed off and hugged Susan tightly again.

As Lucy stepped away, still clutching the sketchbook, Edmund rushed into Susan's arms, overjoyed to see her again, and in Narnia too! "I missed you," whispered Susan as she hugged her brother.

Edmund looked at her, wiping his eyes before she could see the tear glistening there. "I've only been gone a day."

"No, I've missed you since I started all those stupid arguments," said Susan, tears still running down her face. She raised her voice slightly so all her siblings could hear. "I've missed all of you."

Now it was Peter's turn to greet Susan. She looked at him nervously as he embraced her. She didn't know if he would forgive her for what she put them all through any time soon. She stood on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear. "I'm so sorry."

As they both stepped apart, Susan glanced at Peter's face, and could tell that she was forgiven. Peter was so happy to see his sister safe and back with him, he was willing to forgive anything.

Susan faced her siblings, her tears making tracks down her face. "I…I'm sorry!" she squeaked, succumbing to sobs again. She felt strong arms wrap around her and heard Caspian whisper in her ear.

"Shh, it's okay." Her eyes cleared, and she could see her siblings, smiling, just as she had wished for. Susan felt a smile cross he own tear streaked face, and knew that she was finally home. She was back where she belonged.


End file.
